The man of Inish Mor

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The terrorist whack-jobs offing cats and humans. Clue: There are enough fresh corpses to stock a Jacobean revenge tragedy and a Quentin Tarantino action flick. Donny a cantankerous Sean Griffin and his annoying young pal, doltish Davey priceless MJ Sieber are both about two petals shy of a shamrock in the brains department.

So who knows what this genially sadistic head case will do now that his kitty, his only pal in the world, is no more? The ridiculous plot Davey and Donny come up with to deceive Padraic, and escape his wrath, is the stuff of a Three Stooges routine — just a stooge less, and much, much gorier.

Confused, he begins the long walk back into town and she once again begins to sing "The Patriot Game. Davey and Donny, exhausted and now seriously drunk, decide to call it a night.


They will put the finishing touches on the cat the next morning before Padraic arrives. Davey has made a cross to mark Wee Thomas' grave. Donny instructs Davey several times to wake him at nine AM, and they go to sleep. Davey has failed to wake up Donny in time, and they are still asleep when Padraic arrives. He finds the grave marker, flies into a rage, wakes them up and demands to know where the cat is.

They indicate the decoy, claiming it has a disease that makes it smell like shoe polish and "get all orangey". Padraic isn't fooled and angrily shoots the cat, blowing it to pieces. He ties up both his father and Davey and is finally told that Wee Thomas is dead. He is prepared to shoot them both for letting the cat die in their care when the three INLA agents burst into the room and hold him at gunpoint. The gunmen bind his hands.

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They tell Padraic that he has angered the group with his brutal maiming of a drug dealer under their protection, and also with his talk of forming a splinter group from their splinter group. It is also discovered that Padraic is responsible for Christy's missing eye. Davey taunts the bound Padraic, causing him to fly into a rage. As he is dragged outside, he promises that he will be back to kill them. Donny and Davey, still nervous, express relief that it appears to be over when shots fire off stage.

The three agents come running back into the house, their eyes shot out by Mairead. They fire outside the house blindly. Padraic and Mairead walk calmly into the house, holding hands. Padraic shoots each of the three agents in turn.

Full Casting Announced for Martin McDonagh's THE LIEUTENANT OF INISHMORE

Padraic asks her to join him in the fight for a free Ireland, and she accepts. Having found love, they are about to execute Donny and Davey when Christy feebly rises up and apologizes to Padraic for killing his cat.

Padraic, flying into a rage, drags Christy off into the next room to torture him before he dies. The stage is by now strewn with blood and dismembered body parts. Padraic is quietly sitting on Christy's horribly mutilated corpse, clutching the body of Wee Thomas, which he has dug up from Donny's backyard.

Donny and Davey are reluctantly chopping up the bodies of Brendan and Joey to prevent identification. Mairead enters, wearing a striking dress.

B&B The Man of Aran Cottage - Picture of Man of Aran Cottage, Inishmore

She and Padraic discuss their plans for the future, perhaps forming their own splinter group, which Padraic calls "Wee Thomas's Army". Mairead mentions that she was unable to find her cat, Sir Roger, to say goodbye. Davey remembers with horror that the cat has been killed by Padraic.

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He retrieves the cat's collar and flings it out the window before the lovers can notice it. Padraic asks Mairead to marry him.

She goes in the next room to wash the blood off her dress, and returns clutching the mangled body of Sir Roger. She kisses Padraic.

As he relaxes in bliss, she draws both of his pistols and shoots him in the head. She commands Donny and Davey to clean up, claims the title of "Lieutenant of Inishmore" for herself, and promises to return the next day and investigate what Sir Roger was doing in the house in the first place. Bemoaning their luck, Donny and Davey continue to work when a black cat enters the house. Turner is superbly supported here by a cast that revels in the Father Ted-ness of some of the comedy.

There will be those who reject the offensive Irish stereotype. And there will be those like me who both reject it and laugh at it too.

The Lieutenant of Inishmore Tickets

My first impression from remains unchanged — this is a brave criticism of the way violence becomes, not just the means to an end, but the end itself. But also that in the way he characterises some of Irish who live in that world, McDonagh has kind of got away with murder. Rory Stewart enjoys a bagel and reveals his 'special connection' to the Jewish community. Church apologises for hosting event staged by group founded by Holocaust denier. The JC offers several email newsletters to keep you updated with our news, features and comment. Take your pick from a daily update, the Editor's weekly selections, lifestyle, politics and sport — or choose them all.

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